The Adventures of UltraJoeBot
UltraJoeBot

So there’s this site called Redfizz where I upload my songs so people can comment on them and debate what their favorite parts are, who I should go on tour with, what kind of wine is best paired with my music, etc. At least that’s how it should work in my mind. But usually I end up with a couple people saying “cool song” and a couple other people saying “wow, this sure is boring.” Actually, I’ve gotten some pretty good feedback on a couple songs, others not so much.

At any rate, the site has a system whereby every submission is either “Rejected,” “2nd Stage,” or “Featured.” My songs so far have split evenly between the first two, which is neither thrilling nor shockingly disappointing. I just found out that my latest submission, however, is going to be the featured song of the day! So everyone should head over and register so that when “Now Or Never” shows up as the featured song on 12/04, you can share with the world just how much you love it, or how you wish it had an authentic cadence. Or not, either way. I just thought it was cool.


Yes, it’s becoming increasingly clear as I clack away at my keyboard that my fingernails have gone from just “unruly” to full-fledged “wild and uncontrollable.” My thesaurus would like to be acknowledged for its part in that last sentence.

Anyway, for those of you who really enjoy my quality illustrations, I’ve created four new works of art that you can check out at Myspace. Everyone else likes to have these clever, ironic photos that somehow represent each song, so I figured I would hop on the bandwagon and depict the speaker in each song as a sad robot (Sadbot, if you will). That way you can listen to the song, see what Sadbot is feeling, and then ask yourself if you really “get it.”

There’s also a new song up there (complete with Sadbot illustration) that I’m hoping to include in the movie I’m working on, called Now Or Never. It was originally an experiment to see if I could write a successful pop song without using a V chord. What? Does anyone really do that? I mean, I know he’s a dork, but … really? Yeah, I did that. I think it came out OK too, albeit short and mostly devoid of any hook (not to mention equally devoid of authentic cadences, oh snap).

I also just wanted to make sure that all my loyal readers are intimately familiar with The Perry Bible Fellowship. My favorite is obviously the one with the Automatic Barber, but really they’re all good. A constant source of inspiration when I fear my own comic may falter. What? Never! Also, I don’t feel up to writing even more CD reviews at the moment, but the new Killswitch Engage and Prize Fighter Inferno albums are both worth your time. That is all. Carry on.



On their aptly-titled third album, a long three and a half years since 2003’s Deja Entendu, Brand New sound like the collision of good and evil, somehow married in a single sound, all the while warring within themselves. The opening “Sowing Season” shows the band doing what they do best, jumping between the disarmingly half-whispered, half-whimpered hush of the verses, and the anguished screams of the explosive chorus. Both sides sound crippled by the same pain, but one is hopelessly defeated and the other enraged, finding purpose where the other finds despair. It is the commitment to this balance, as well as the wise decision to avoid any middle ground between the two extremes, that makes it such a strong opener.

It is when they stray into more neutral territory that the emotional impact wanes and the band begins to falter. The British new wave influence in “Not The Sun” and “The Archers’ Bows Have Broken” feels a little forced, and the REM-tinged “Millstone” begins to sound like filler when sandwiched between two far more powerful songs. Likewise, the two instrumental interludes are somewhat flat and unmemorable. Still, it’s hard to detract from the album as a whole, as these tracks are easily forgotten when eclipsed by the intense scream-along sections of stronger songs like “You Won‘t Know“ and “Degausser.” As noted in the liner notes, the album is a collection of various recordings from March 2005 to April 2006, so the occasional meandering is inevitable.

Conversely, as can be expected with an album full of such spectacular highs and tortured lows, the best songs generate a profoundly cathartic experience. In the spellbinding “Luca,” lead singer Jesse Lacey’s uneasy croon spends the first half of the song developing a twitchy suspense over a bed of slow-growing guitar noise. But before the band is willing to deliver the pay-off, the gradual build drops out to focus all attention on that familiar unsettling whisper. Lacey conjures haunting imagery with lyrics like, “unless you have friends among fish, there’ll still be no air to breathe / you could drink up the entire ocean, we‘ll still find someone to be everything we know that you‘ll never be.” When the band finally kicks in at the tail end of the third chorus, the release is breathtaking.

When Brand New released the ground-breaking Deja Entendu in 2003, they proved that they could meticulously craft accessible pop songs with the same rigid structure of their peers, without sacrificing depth or conviction. Longtime fans will be glad to find that much of what made it such a successful album is present here. The main difference is that while Deja Entendu sometimes felt like a collection of scientifically-constructed compositions, The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me gives the distinct impression of a spontaneous conception, its songs all stemming from single moments of inspiration. The result is a more stripped-down sound that will probably alienate a portion of their fan base, while providing those in search of actual substance, even more to sink their teeth into.

The emphasis here is less on catchy choruses and more on adventurous arrangements, and the gamble pays off for the most part. On first listen, it might seem a daunting task to find a memorable hook in this collection of bleak and tortured songs, most of them stretching beyond the length of a typical single. But while it’s true that the dynamics are wider and the structures are more sprawling, there is something immediately accessible about such undeniably honest and earnest music. At the disc’s halfway point, when the angst-ridden blare of “You Won’t Know” finally gives way to two quivering voices, repeating the song’s title over and over to its hypnotic end, it’s clear that Brand New have created something special. Here’s hoping we don‘t have to wait three and a half years for the next one.




My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way could be described as hypersensitive. When he’s happy, his jubilant shouts and nasal la-la-la’s bubble over with joyful glee, but when he’s sad, his tormented cries evoke a pit of despair so bleak that he sounds like he must be drowning in anguish. It is that heightened sense of conviction and sincerity that resonates throughout The Black Parade, giving the anthemic choruses more bombast, the understated ballads more feeling, and the deranged freak-outs more ferocity. The end result is a collection of songs that are far more accessible than one would expect from such an extravagant and over-the-top spectacle, drawing influence from punk, metal, Broadway, and everywhere in between.

The album starts with “The End,” featuring an acoustic storyteller vibe punctuated by Brian Wilson-esque oohs, pitted against adjacent slabs of majestic-but-vicious arena rock. Together the halves create an overture that channels a more twisted version of Queen, instantly memorable in just under two minutes. The other 12 songs are equally conflicted and effective, quickly bouncing from the explosive goth dance/rock of “The Sharpest Lives” to the energetic blues/punk shuffle of “House Of Wolves,” while still finding time to squeeze in Beatles-infected powerpop, in “Cancer.”

The most adventurous song would have to be “Mama,” which sets the stage with an uneasily brooding polka, but after the straight up rock feel of the sing-along chorus lulls you into a false sense of security, all hell breaks loose. Way conjures Mike Patton’s tortured screams over an apocalyptic metal breakdown, only to give way to a demonic waltz, featuring a guest spot from Liza Minnelli as Mother War. By the time the song’s coda reaches its ending cadence with machine gun palm-muted guitars, the remaining fiddle and accordion figure feels very much like the aftermath of a bloody war.

Lyrically, the album focuses mainly on the theme of death, which is examined in several different ways. In “Dead!” Way gleefully muses about how great it would be to die, even affecting a fake British accent in the character of a doctor who has discovered a heart defect and estimates that his patient has two weeks to live, all over a rollicking, bouncy beat behind a brass band. Meanwhile “Welcome To The Black Parade” and “Famous Last Words” deal more with the inevitability of death and the struggle to persevere through loss, perhaps suggesting that Way and company take ironic and insensitive jabs at death, not for shock effect, but because it actually scares them.

Though the band largely plays to their strengths, there are occasional low points. “I Don’t Love You” is too straight-forward a power ballad for its own good, and the undeniable energy of “Teenagers” doesn’t make up for its inherent lack of depth, nor can the catchy chorus compensate for the ill-advised inclusion of a cowbell. But the flaws are few, and the infectious quirkiness hinted at from the beginning of “The End” remains a constant throughout the album. A huge step forward from their previous disc, The Black Parade is the sound of a band finally afforded the liberty of being able to experiment, and the result is hopefully a sign of things to come.